If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this. C. S. Lewis. 

time of our lives

i dont think anyone will ever know how much i love the mountains. or when the sky is bright blue. or when i can lay in bed for as long as i want. when im in the middle of a good book or when i take the first sip of tea. when i get in the shower after a swim meet. when i feel the presence of the Lord in a room. when i find a bible verse that is applicable to my current life situation. or when i find someone i can speak to. without talking. sunday afternoons where there is nothing to do or laying on the driveway at two in the morning. the second day at younglife camp. piling in a bunk bed with 5 middle school girls and having heart to heart talks. blaring taylor swift while driving at night with my best friends. listening to rain pound on my window at night. laughing until i cry. understanding that i will never know. the smell of bonfire and worship. the way my puppy still gets excited everytime she sees me in bed every morning. walking into a clean room. or the feeling of being content. the list could go on and on.

right.

we hold on tight to these memories that never die.

i never want to forget this. this feeling that things are good.
that i am content. that i am secure in my exsistance. that i am well.
there are many negative things i could throw my energy into, indeed, but what good outcomes come from centering your thoughts around bad? so far in my life, the answer is none. often i find myself begining to worry about tomorrow. and its hard for me to grasp that tomorrow will worry about itself.  but i must not hinder on the things unknown. one of my biggest goals in life is to live in the moment. take in what is around me. in the midst of my rush, i want to remember this time.
where things are good.

the words i would say

this weekend was my piano recital. every year it is a mix of dread and excitment leading up to the saturday where all the parents and friends look down on you listening to the piece you can basically play with your eyes closed. i say that because it can be scary going up in front of so many people and performing, my hands seriously shake the whole time. but afterwards is the best feeling. just knowing that youre done and played it right (hopefully), is a feeling that i cant describe. relief maybe. and i think thats part of what gets me to walk that ten feet up to that center stage baby grand piano. knowing that i will experience that feeling afterwards. of course i have learned that even if you mess up, most people dont even know. unless they have studied the sheet music, in my case rhapsody in blue. and by end, like always, i just want to stay there and play my piece over and over and over. i love it. it makes me realize how big of a part music is in my life. even as a baby, my mom said i always had to be listening to music. and that certainly hasnt changed. im always listening to something. and not only listening, but playing and singing. i love playing the piano. i can always measure how much stress i have by how much i practice. its definetly a vent for me. im a pretty quiet person, so the piano talks for me. its like we share a language, of notes. it shares my feelings, whether i am sad, lonesome, excited, worried, joyous, it speaks for me. i can play loud. or quiet. or in the middle. it listens. i think my absolute favorite thing when i play is that moment when ive memorized a song, and my mind wanders into other thoughts when im playing it, and i forget what im playing, but my hands remember and continue. and then i come back to reality and think that ive skipped a whole part of the piece. its something very hard to explain and i probably did a poor job of it. i wish i could share the gift of music with the whole world. maybe i will. someday.



this guy is my absolute favorite. i spend almost every night listening to him.

declaration of a world changer

Today I will live honorably in my

thoughts, actions, and speech.

I choose to be full of faith;

I will not only be a hearer, but

a doer of the

word of God.

I will serve before I demand,

I will love and not hate,

and I will give before I take.

Today I will make a

difference in this world,

and be part of something

bigger than myself.

I choose to dedicate my life to prayer,

and ask God for his miraculous

power and the courage to do

the impossible.

I will make Godly relationships a

priority in my life as I esteem

others higher than myself.

Today, I will live in such a way that

I will change the world.

romans 5:8

Funny how I write at least one blog post a day.....in my mind. I wish what i thought could just be transferred down, I would say on paper, but that would be imprecise. I figured out I do have many drafts

Last night was the last all area club of the year. I lovee all area. maybe because I love meeting new people and seeing my friends from other schools. But Goodie gave the talk. he summed up all that has been talked about throughout the year. just like all the younglife talks, I got a new perspective on the crucifixion.

Imagine creating a world. a whole, beautiful, complete world. and creating people. who were ment to be in a perfect relationship with you. and then have them turn on you. dramatically, drastically turn away from you.

think about how much it hurts when a friends lies to you, or excludes you, or ignores you. it hurts. it hurts alot. well imagine that times 9823643624. its not even comprehesible. and we did it. you did it. i did it. we all have turned away from God at one point. fallen short of His glory. sinned. sin isnt just lying or cheating or stealing. it's focusing your life on things beside the Lord. but He still loves us. Loves us enough to suffer through all the torture and pain. incredible. 

"I loved you at your darkest" -Romans 5:8

and as you well know, i love pictures. especially with bible verses.

and indeed, I am in engineering right now.

My Name (My english project)

Claudia.

Like a stained glass window, my name and I.

Different pieces, from different places, each with a different story, come together to form something striking. I’m not just from one place, and just one thing does not define me. I’m made up of different customs, backgrounds, traditions. But they fit.

 Italian from my father, English and Irish from my mother. Tan skin, but blonde hair and blue eyes. Big Christmas Eve parties in New York, small Thanksgiving dinners in Roanoke. A love for math and science, with a passion for art and music. Curious, without a care in the world.

Inspiring, influential. You don’t just walk by. You notice. The things that scream different are really there for a purpose. Each angle cut precise, each color hue, was perfectly planned by the great artist. When you are up close, you might not be able to put it together. You might not be able to read it well. But just take a few steps back. Then you will see the big picture. Whether there are sharp cuts or round cuts, big or small, they come together. And fit.  

This colored pane gives hope and a sense of peace. Like the smell of salt mixed with dry sand in the ocean breeze.  Never enraged. But when anger does strike, it comes in a peaceful way. Even when the stained glass is displaying a hurtful, horrific, painful image, it remains composed and intact.

It always looks pleasant, but when the Light shines though, just then, does it look most exquisite. Not only that, but the moment the Light comes in, with bright beams that blind your eyes, that glass is fulfilling its primary purpose.

"If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable"

-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I found this quote on pinterest and i like it..alot. I guess i just havnt really thought about this concept before. the fact that if you dont know where youre going, or what your goal is in life, nothing is going to seem good or bad.

without love, it is nothing

oh where to begin. well I am currently sitting in history. weird place to blog, i know.

I think its funny how we think we know what is going on in our lives. we think we have control. we think we have the ability to pin point the outcomes of certain situations. but we dont... at all. i know i do this so much. in most situations i feel as though my way is better than everybody elses. its hard for me to realize that we are all equal. that we are not superior to others. Following Christ, i know that i have a different outlook on life than people i walk down the hallways with and its hard to convert back to...reality, i guess. I found this verse in a younglife book that im reading and i fell in love with it.

If I have that absolute faith which can move mountains
 but have not love, I am nothing.
Even if I give my body to be burned and have no love,
I achieve precisely nothing.

1 Corinthians 13

i think this is a perfect explaination of living. Even if we have all the faith in the world, faith that can MOVE mountains, if we do not love, it means nothing. nothing. not even a little bit.
if we sacrifice our body, which i believe is one of the most important things in our lives, but have no love, it means nothing. crazy, right? God really tells us here how incredibly important loving is.

Love is not an emotion, its a will.

Send me on my way

 This has actually been a good day. my first good day in I cant even remember how long. The past month has inclosed some of the worst times, experiences and feelings I've had..ever. There have been times where I have come home from school and just bawled. I've never done that before. Or I have really felt like I didnt belong where I was. Like I was dyyinggg to get high school over with and move on to college. I'm not normally  like that.  My heart ached. I've never had that feeling before. I tried to mask it but that didnt really work out that well. One of my teachers even called my house because she was worried about me. I was exhausted. Dont get me wrong, there were many good things that happened in those times too, and I also learned some amazing things. But today was a new day. It was good. I went to Campaigners this morning, school was easy, lacrosse was fun, I didnt have any stress and I found out some amazing news. I dont have any homework, I'm in bed at 8, and I'm excited for our field trip tomorrow. Life is swell.

Today also the first day of Lent. This year, instead of giving up or taking on one big thing, I've kinda thrown some little stuff together. I'm giving up scrolling or looking down the newsfeed on facebook. I'm going to finish one book of the bible. Also, my grandmother gave me a book called Writing to GOD; 40 days of praying with my pen. Which I am actually going to start right after I finish writing this. Im excited because I need some change in my life. I need some discipline. I need to switch it up. Ive finished. Im starting again.

feels like im waiting for a change

 my head is about to explode.
 i cant take this any longer.
 im done.

But what is a rainbow, than colors out of reach.

Today I have completly confirmed that I am control freak, procrastonater, and OCD about numbers and order even though my room is always a mess. I also like summer nights and long walks in the rain.

just kidding about that last part.

well... not really....

The old has gone, the new has come. 2011

ahh 2011. I have had a lot of time to think about this year while either being in new york with my family for two weeks or stuck in my house for one. As I was sitting wrapped up in a blanket, where you most likey would have found me, I have decided that this has been one of my greatest years of my whole. entire. life.
i can just hear the intense background music playing as i wrote that. I will now proceed to try to fetch memories from the past year as i think about how I am dreading going to school tomorrow. Excuse me if these are wildly inaccurate.

Febuary (March?) 2011
   Rockbridge Wyldlife Winter Weekend. I think out of all the wyldlife/younglife camps this has been by far, probably my favorite. 1. I got to be in a cabin with all my friends and we were so so close and just so happy to be there together. 2. We were the oldest there, since we were in eigth grade, and it was so cool to be with all the seventh graders (now eigth graders) who look up to us without having to worry about the ninth graders (now sophmores). Not that theyre not nice... i dont really know them, but it just seems like that group of girls does not like our group at all. Maybe its just my friends and I are so close to the grade below us that is wierd to have the older kids not want anything to do with us. i just feel judged by them. but i dont know, now i am probably judging them. annnyyyywaysssss. 3. i got to have my two very favorite people be my leaders. Emily and Caroline. They have no clue how much i love them and probably think i make such a big deal about how much i love our one on ones. but the one this time was the best. there's no other way to put it. words cant describe it. the words that were said there, in a corner next to the club room, changed my life.

June 2011
  last day of eigth grade. last day of middle school. last day of now one of the awkward times of my life. now that I look back, i dont know why I liked middle school. maybe it was all the new people, that i would be spending the next six years of my life with. or because sixth grade was when I really started loving the Lord. Whatever it was, i glad it's over.

June- July 2011
  for years my family has wanted to go to Italy and this summer we did. it was the most amazing things i have ever done. most people would never want to spend a month in europe where the only people you could really understand was your family. but i loved it. i seriously would have stayed all summer. and I most defintely want to go back.  I dont think there is one day where i dont think about it. and I know this is kinda sad to say, but I missed very few people. I wanted to stay in the place where I could wear dresses, sunglasses, and toms all day and see how different life can be without having to worry about anything but what amazing food we were going to eat next.

August 2011
   Oh the dreaded thoughts of coming to high school. i wish i could just hold myself back then and tell myself that it would be okay. I think that is one of the biggest changes a kid has to make. At least in middle school they prepared you but for high school it's like they drop you in the middle of nowhere and expect you to find your way. I remember sitting in a classroom not knowing where I was or where anything else was but knowing that in a week or so I would feel like home. and I wanted that week to come so fast. Alot of other things changed for the school too: block schedualing and 10 point grading scale. and I very much appriciate both. also, I am taking engineering and Burton and I absolutly love it. I have learned so much already and got to meet so many more poeple.

November 2011
   Basketball is pretty much a part of my life and always will be. I dont remember ever not playing. I love it. but this year i decided to switch it up and try out for swim team. I made it (well, everyone made it) and I am so glad i decided to. Even though id rather be sleeping at 5 in the morning, it is good for me to be swimming and I know this is what the Lord wanted me to do. I have met so many new people and I love getting those new relationships with all different kinds of people. the team sleepover that we had was so cool because all different kinds of girls were all together in a basement having fun. at one point everyone was on the floor cracking up over one of the games we had played.

December 2011
   all my moms family lives in Virginia so we see them alot, but my dads not so much. Both my parents grew up in Syracuse so that is where most of my dad's family is. We decided to go up there for Christmas, even though we have spent every other christmas at home. it was different, but I liked it. i think it was good for us because we only got a couple presents there so it but it was still so exciting getting to open them. it really taught our family that its okay to be at a hotel buffet on christmas morning, as long as we are all together.



So of course this is like 0.01% of what really happened in 2011, but it is late and unfortunatly i have school tomorrow.